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A Comedic Ceremony Script For Any Green Wedding

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Do you know how much of a carbon footprint the average wedding leaves? Estimates vary, but Carbonfund has a calculator that you can use. One resource claims that the carbon footprint of the average wedding is around 63 tons of CO2.

If you are serious about fighting climate change, then you should make it a priority to minimize your impact on the environment. One of the ways to do this is by having a green wedding.

You need to know what the benefits of a green wedding are for the environment. You should also know how to make the most of a green wedding, because it is just important to have a memorable experience as it is to help the environment. This includes having a good speech ahead of time.

Planning a Great Green Wedding with the Right Speech

Green weddings are becoming more popular, as people become more concerned to sustainability. One report shows that at least 70% of people are paying at least some attention to sustainability when they are getting married.

Green weddings are fun but emotional and somber with a charged atmosphere. So, it may be necessary to introduce a funny green wedding ceremony script for a change. After all, helping the environment doesn’t mean that you can’t have a sense of humor!

A comedic ceremony script is a combination of wit, humor and some hard facts. It’ll make the guests laugh, pass on the message meant for the day. While preserving the essence of your love.

In this post, you’ll get a funny marriage ceremony script tailored for every kind of wedding. It will also make an excellent funny vow renewal ceremony script, after some twitch here and there. If you’re an officiant presiding over a green wedding, there’s a wedding officiant speech to suit. It’s non-religious, but can be quite adapted to fit any faith.

See the comedic script here:

Welcome address

We are here today to witness the joining of two lives. Something that started as two people meeting, has become an extraordinary event. You know, boy meets girl, fell in love and now, here we are, as they take a step to permanence. We also celebrate as guests, for it’s a pleasure to witness the bloom of love. And to enjoy free drinks while at it.

Can we start already?


In a good marriage, every little thing counts.

Like never being too old to hold hands, never forgetting to say “I love you,”

Never going to bed upset with each other, forming a squad and facing the world.

It’s the attitude of appreciation, and demonstrating gratitude for the smallest things,

It’s letting each other grow in a conducive atmosphere.

It’s being the right person, and not just marrying the right person.

Rendition of vows

Let the couple face each other.

The couple will recite their personalized, traditional or any other vow types they favor.

I Do’s

Groom (name), do you take bride (name) to be your lawful wedded wife?

Do you pledge to love, cherish, honor, protect and stay faithful to her?

Do you promise to keep your clothes in a neat pile and take out the trash?

Do you promise that even when she’s old and toothless, you’ll love her endlessly?

The groom will say “I do.”

The same process will be repeated for the bride.

Exchange of rings

May whoever has the rings step forward and present them, please?

Three rings make up a marriage. The engagement ring, the wedding rings and the marriage itself. Yes, it’s an endless self-imposed prison, the one you walk into happily. We hope and wish it remains a happy one.

Now, say after me…

I GROOM (name), take you, BRIDE (name) to be my Wife. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow. This is sworn to you solemnly. And with this ring, I take you as my Wife, binding you to me for as long as we both shall live.

I BRIDE, take you, Groom (name) to be my Husband. To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer, in joy and sorrow. This is sworn to you solemnly. And with this ring, I take you as my husband, binding you to me for as long as we both shall live.

Closing speech

Love is what it takes to make your relationship work. Love is the center hold of your marriage and your reason for being here today.

Only trust will help you know, even when you don’t say, that you only want what’s best for each other. Only dedication will keep you open to each other, even as you build and grow together.

Only faith will propel you forward in unity as you embark on this marriage journey. Even though you don’t know what to expect.

And only commitment will make you see this journey through to the end. Even as you have pledged oneness today.

Proclamation, kiss, and presentation

With the Pierre vested on me by the state/church/court, etc…

I pronounce you man and wife!

I present to you (name of the couple), the newest couple of the year.

You may now kiss.

The above are very decent funny green wedding comedic scripts. Borrow or get some inspiration from it for your script.

Your Green Wedding Can Be Comedic and Fun!

Helping the environment doesn’t mean you have to be boring, especially on your wedding day. You can do a lot to make your wedding fun, while also minimizing your carbon footprint. You can start by having a great comedic script, since they leave a carbon footprint of zero!